This overwhelming exhastion and underwhelming success must be diminished. I cant take it. Im too tired for it. Must we resort to 'mandatory'? Must i throw away the pieces? Sometimes i feel like the highest person on the mountain, and then i feel like the lowest speck on the bottom of life's shoe. All this rollercoastering is causing this overwhelming urge just to sleep my life away. I yearn to stay awake and try to change it but it is impossibly strong against my will. Theres no changing it. Only enduring. So i will lay here in this cold, dark room, and contemplate jumping off the mountain.