Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Barbed Wire Beginnings.

First of all, im starting off saying that i have ben accepted into Miami university of Ohio, and its Fine Arts programmmmm! the crowd goes wild!!!!

so exciting!

but these past few weeks have been pretty nerve racking. the play is coming up, the black history month presentation is coming up, and all these memories are flooding back and its hard to deal with them. first of all, im impatient, and being impatient just catalyzes the craziness i feel. seriously. all the complications come from this jelously that i want things to be nice and smooth, not strewn all over and discombobulated. thats life.

its barbed wire.

my obsession sophomore year, which led to a downfall, which led to words left unsaid and the grudgingly movers. how does one withhold the barbed wire? i used to draw it all over my skin, all on my hands, along with the blue hearts and the black hearts. blue hearts dont fade. black hearts absorb all the pain. i did and it hurt me and it always will. but this going back to the beginning is haunting me in my sleep...however, all i want to do is sleep.

im a confused little girl. all these thoughts come and go and i get angry then sad then so, so happy.
I think thats why i love doing puzzles so much. its all mayham and anger... and then it all comes together with such a beautiful cadence my heart sings. its calm. i can control it.

in ap lit, we have started Hamlet. maybe shakespeare will calm my anxious mind... bandaging these barbed wire obsessions that come along with this puzzle.

No comments:

Post a Comment