The Sound of You Breathing

All humans breathe, a very natural motion
It regulates your heartbeat, it regulates the mood
As I lay there, listening to your heartbeat,
I hear your breathing, calm, steady in sleep
The world, it's troubles fade away, and I realize
This is what I've always wanted.

There are too many things we take for granted
We take advantage of the mind set of home.
As I lay there, listening to you breathing
The rise and fall of your chest-
I know that's where I always want to be
By your side, in your view, breathing beside you.
This is what I've always wanted.

Did You Ever Write About Me?

A simple question
That makes me smile-
This simple question is very complicated.
Did I ever write anything about you?
Have I ever written anything about you?

When haven't I written about you?

All of those dreams that I produced as a child
Once looked so distant from my grasp
All of those late night cries from
The frustration of thinking I would never feel normal-
The world gave me you.

When haven't I written about you?

Those days when I dazed and thought of your eyes
Those last nights when I pondered the curve of your hand
That day when I could finally close my eyes and feel safe
These memories of wishing I could have told you
And that moment I realized all of the roads in life led to you-

I have always written about you.

Depressing

Even after years of living, I still wish I was normal. I wish I could be in a normal relationship, with normal values. I wish I actually wanted to. I wish I didnt have trust issues. I wish I actually liked relationships!
It's just so difficult for me to actually be normal. I am great at acting like it, but lately, more and more.... I do not want to act anymore. I want to be me, what I believe I should do.
Fuck. And the worst part is I cannot fix it, or even explain it to anyone, anyone in the world, without being the bad guy. Because I am the terrible, heartless, bitch, selfish woman I am.