Emotional Day

Today, I am unreasonably emotional. I think it is because last year at this time I was in a dark place, and now I am in a great place of my life. I had some friends who are not friends anymore, and am still friends with some, grew close to them. some that I have are very new, and I am so thankful. It just puts things into perspective that life does get better. But I am going to miss my friends so much this summer, but now that we are grown we can visit each other because we enjoy eachothers company so much. Gah. I am so glad I am not graduating, I would be a mess.

It's Funny

Its funny when the things you thought you wanted to happen, you get, and it isn't as good as you thought it would be. Its even funnier when you get the things you wanted, and they are pretty much the best thing you could ask for. My life right now is a spin of discoveries, triumphs, and funny realizations. This environment around me is influencing me to be who I have always wanted to be when I grew up. I guess its possible I am growing up lately... ugh. Twenty. Twenty is so old. Im not longer a teenager, and just in this past month of me being twenty, I feel like I haven't been who I was as a teenager. I find that so strange.

Sometimes I just lay here and watch the shadows move across the walls.

My Body's Response to Failure

Inspiration seeps out of my pores onto my skin and into my clothes.
Perception of the word drips down my back into my waistband.
Interception of critism becomes my beta blocker, only absorbs praise.
Serration of the words uttered becomes suddenly music to my ears.
Implantation of ideas is the air I breathe, the breeze I feel.

you can't bring me down. I am surrounded by the win. I am consumed by my want.

I am defined by myself.

"Cheap wine and cigarettes/ this place is always such a mess/ sometimes I think I'd like to sit and watch it burn."