Sleeping the time away...

See those people
Up on that stage?

That will be me
someday

I sweare my facebook is stalking my texts... My horoscope always matches up with my day, no matter what. Its freaking me out. Six days in a row, exclusion one day.

I am falling asleep to
The shirt that you left here,
Encased with your scent.

I am falling asleep to
Your cologne you lost here,
Memories of romantic nights.

All i need is you
Physically here beside me.
That would make my life and love
Perfect.

Scar Tissue, Bionary Fission.

Choose a scar upon my skin, marking, dent or jagged color,
i will inform you of when i got it.
whether it was following a trend, a cause of weather, a cause of myself,
they paint a picture of myself.
some pictures are of happy days,
accidently grazing a window,
slicing a finger on a Blizzard machine.
some are burns from misuse or anger.
some are hidden, never to be seen,
disguesed from the world because of the pain they represent.
some are plain as sunshine in summer, but unseen:
no one cares enough to get close enough to look.

scars, do you see how you've effected my life?
purposeful or not, you became a defective part of my being,
which i care about and i disregard.
although eyes search and discover and study,
do they understand?
i dont think anyone ever will, considering i do not know
myself;
they are so prevalent,
i feel
if you trapped me
in an all white room
with all white padding
hugging myself in a vice grip
i would still
somehow discover
how to scar myself,
willingly or unwillingly.

Another Sunday, Another Saturday Night.

Tired of being fucking alone in my room. Tired of wanting to be here, wanting to learn, but having a rollercoaster whoismyfriend? Social life. Tired of wanting to go home but anting to be free. I'll stay like this forever, i guess. And continue to speak easy.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but i think its just making me not like you.

ugh

Goddammit, why is irrelevant that i am relevent?

You know you need more coffee when you accidently walk into the boys bathroom in Irving hall to blow your nose, wondering for a full 30 secs why all the girls are so mannish.

Anxity

In rehearsal. My anxity is so great tonight, that i have completly split four of my nails in half with my teeth. Everyone is speaking, and i long to be too, but today it feels like i am alone, and everyone is looking at me, examining me, and judging me when i am not looking at them. I should have worn a more confortable shirt.

French Cinema.

Yes, i have fallen in love with French Cinema. all the more reason for me to go to france, and perhaps return.