The Curve.

Egotistically, i told your ego to swell, and
in turn, mine dropped.
Selfishly, you told my selfishness to disappear, and
in turn, yours vanished.
The pictures in the frames can't hold
our smiles much longer.
they are too gigantic, and the
onlookers can't help but be enchanted by infectious
grins.

i fall into a trance
at the curve of your eyebrows,
the dollop of hair on your chin,
the length of your calves.
i hold you, enclose you, and
i can close my eyes in peace.
Even if i have no idea who i am
anytime of any day
at that moment when you kiss my forehead
i know who i am.
I am yours.

This Weekend.

This weekend, i fell in love with him all over again.

I am torn. The future is very up in the air right now. Do i spend the rest of my life in debt and happy, or with those i am close to, with an opportunity for a easier life? Can i give up my dreams? Is this even my dream, or am i too young to know?

Hungover on sleeping pills. What the hell.

My ceramics teacher should have been a therapist. He just explained to me and the class my personality better than i ever could articulate just by looking at my ceramics work! I am crazy, but extremly organized and in order, as seen by the balaced elements in my work. Heimagins that where i live, som roms r very clean and some are messy. I then tried to talk about my work, he then commented i must not like to talk about my feelings at all. Hahahah!

Today is actualy becoming an amazing day :)

Straight up fact i just read: coffee drinkers have more sex than non coffee drinkers. And they enjoy it more.

....

Just fuck your artistic mind.
FUCK it.

I Need New.

I need new something. New clothes, new attitude, new drugs? new SOMETHINGS. whatever will make me feel better, feel like i am ME again...

I haven't felt like myself in ages... actually, i dont even know if i was ever myself. i wonder if i have always been a lie.
Have i always been a lie?

Sleep deprived mari has paninis.

Wow.

The air weighs a ton.

Incredibly Focused.

We say we are focused,
we mean we are focused,
we grasp onto the idea of being focused...

but when you actually believe in something
you find out that its false.
false.
false.

and that is how the world's religions fall
that is how relationships fall
because we all start focusing on focusing
and it all just becomes one
screwed up, knotted up, twisted mess on the floor
covered in your attempts and wishes.

i hate being focused almost as much as me
not being focused.

So incredibly focused i stay.

Most ackward awakening of my life

dont hide.

smile like you mean it.

College will be the death of me.

Oh, college.

More Word Vomit.

I miss the intoxication
Of the voices
In my head.

I miss how you felt
When, in a haze, i jabbed
You into my quivering arm.

You filled my veins like fluid dripping
down pipes.
Sat on my tongue at Woodstock.

I guess i got to go rehab for you
And every other person i know
Because they all have me addicted

To their voices, their opinions.
But i miss inhaling your sweet scent
And having hallucinations of future.

And this withdrawl im having, well,
Detox is not an easy expierence...
I'll be thowing you out of my mind
Over and over again.