Ok I am honestly starting to believe I would be better off dead. Cool.

My Pain Is Your Gain

Um. Bruises, splints and medication, oh my?

That Moment

You know that moment when you realize that your world has settled itself into the place that you hoped it wouldnt be, and stuck itself on the bookcase in your room for you to stare at every night before you go to bed?

I am questioning things now. i realize i'm forgiving and forgetting way to easily, but that is who i am now under those circumstances. I'm starting to look around, and its making me both fasinated and terrified to open my eyes.

And I can't stop sleeping. we know why, i have always known why, but i keep trying to keep myself from sleeping because i cant avoid m problems, and in the end i succum to them and start to dream. wtf.

Fuck these moments. They tire me out.

Like I said, Ruined My Day

I honestly feel like I am doing the right thing by moving on. But I feel like I am leaving a bit of myself behind. Some of the best experiences happened there. I climbed on roofs, found myself as a leader, had a romance or two, and made some pretty cakes. I'm angry that it ended like this, messing up my summer and my self confidence and my pride. It bruised my heart, and I don't know if I'll ever get over it. My life changed in two minutes. And it won't be the same again.

Ruined My Day

Hard conversations are happening. I don't want to sue anyone, but I want them to be ashamed.

Currently missing one forth of my eyebrow. I sneezed. Fml.

The Worst Thing

I honestly wonder if saying that I was strong enough was a good idea. I am attempting to tell my feelings, but no one seems to listen unless they are stuck a room with me being paid to hear me rant. Everyone hears the wrong thing, puts words in my mouth or looks down on me. They don't realize I'm sick. They don't realize it's not my fault even when it really seems it is. Honestly, it's not my fault. To think I like feeling this way? You think I wanna do the things I do? I guarantee it hurts me more than it hurts you.

So used to living in a dream state. When reality hits, you have to truly ask yourself: is all this worth it?

Smiling

The awkwardness of a glance that's retracted
Space differences sway
I miss the way your hair falls
into your eyes
And your laughs each passing day.

When I don't hear from you, my first instinct is to
Contact you.
You inspire poems and day dreams.

Ah. The memories live on of lazy sundays and slow random afternoons.

The One Thing I Want

Even though I complain
Even though I always hesitate
I just want to come back to College
next year
and the year after.